Backyard Barbecues
by CooperTrooperSG1
Summary: Barbecues have always been SG-1's thing.  During a celebration of Carter coming back from Atlantis, Jack thinks back to the first time he had SG1 over for a barbecue. S/J established.
1. Now

Title: Backyard Barbecues

Rating: T (mild)

Setting: Post-Atlantis Season 4 mainly

Pairing: S/J established

Summary: Barbecues have always been SG-1's thing. During a celebratory barbecue when Carter comes home from Atlantis, Jack thinks back to the first time he had the team over.

Author's Note: My last previously unfinished story was really well received, which surprised me. So I wanted to put something else up. This story is basically two old unfinished stories that I decided to mesh together and polish up. Thank you for reading!

Backyard Barbecues

Chapter 1: Now

Jack O'Neill woke up freezing. For the third time that night, the seventeenth time that week, and the thirty-second time in the past three weeks. And he wasn't even the one who liked numbers. That one was all warm and cozy, and was also the reason why he was habitually waking up feeling more like a penguin than a General in the United States Air Force.

He glared across the bed at the nest of squashy comforter and pillows, but it was a very unenthusiastic glare that would have had about as much chance of intimidating her had she been awake as it did now, when she was asleep. The first time he had awoken all those months ago, absolutely convinced he was minutes away from freezing to death, he had looked over and found the mounds of covers and pillows with the bit of blonde hair poking out of the side (rather than the top; she had turned completely perpendicular in her sleep) to be incredibly cute. And for the longest time they'd been together so infrequently because of the insanity that was their lives that he kept finding it cute because he kept sort-of-almost forgetting about it until the next time he saw her and it happened again. But now that she was back from Atlantis for good… it wasn't so cute anymore. He definitely needed to come up with some sort of long-term plan to fix this situation.

But first, he just needed to get warm. That was his top priority at the moment. Unfortunately, it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do. He could go get another comforter from one of his other two bedrooms. But he'd already tried that, and it had just become another layer of Carter's little cocoon as soon as he had gone to sleep. He could go sleep in another room altogether, but that wasn't fun for anyone. That left one obvious solution: get the covers back. Again, easier said than done.

It hadn't taken him long to categorize (and name) Carter's usual sleeping positions. There was 'The Mummy,' of course, in which she slept flat on her back, all of the covers wrapped tightly around herself. There was opposite of that, flat on her stomach, usually with her head under a pillow as well. He hadn't officially named that one, but only because he kept forgetting, in the bright light of day, to go look up the name for that fish that disguised itself as a rock and hid on the ocean floor, waiting for unsuspecting snacks to wander by. That was the name of that position, as soon as he remembered to go look up what that fish was called.

Tonight she was in her most common, and hardest to combat, position: 'The Hamster.' It was hardest because she was hardest to find under all those covers and pillows – she was somewhere under the mass of tangled sheets, covers, and pillows, curled up in a little ball on her side (usually facing him,) a hidden little ball within a ball. If he could get in there, he knew it would be so warm and soft that he probably wouldn't complain about her selfish sleeping habits in the morning.

Okay, that was a lie. He would still totally complain.

He would point out, once again, that he had immediately and unselfishly renounced his former sleeping position to generously accommodate the other person in the bed. He no longer sprawled diagonally across the mattress, face down, as though he had fallen asleep while trying to make a snow-angel in bed, did he? No siree, he did not. Did he complain when she cranked the AC down and turned on the fan before getting into bed, specifically to counteract the fact that she slept under a mountain of covers? Nope. Never said a word.

Now full of self-righteous determination to take back his share of the covers, he scooted across the cool sheet and propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over the ball of covers to peer down into the one opening and try to find a place to start. After much tugging, rolling, and burrowing, he finally located his... well, they still hadn't agreed on what was proper terminology for who they were to each other yet... so he located his 'bed buddy,' smirking a little because she was asleep and could not give him the look she normally gave him when he suggested, with completely fabricated seriousness, that that was a perfectly acceptable thing to call her. To their friends.

Sam finally located within the hamster nest, he rolled her practically on top of him and pulled the blankets and everything around them both. Ahhhh, no more penguin-Jack. He sighed and closed his eyes, but they opened again automatically when she tensed up and tried to roll away from him. "No way," he objected.

"You're too cold," she mumbled.

"Your fault," he pointed out.

She mumbled something that probably wasn't very nice into his shoulder and started to go back to sleep.

"Hey, since you're awake and all..." Jack started. "What's the name of that fish that disguises itself as a rock?"

She didn't answer, but he wasn't really expecting her to. She didn't usually wake up, no matter how much he tugged at the covers or how cold he was when he finally got to her, but occasionally she did.

The funny thing was, when they fell asleep every night she was inevitably as close to him as she could manage.

Sam Carter was a total cuddler, as long as she was awake. She probably wouldn't appreciate him spreading that information around, but it was true. Not that he would, as she'd probably just return the favor. Although he seriously doubted anyone would believe it in his case.

It had taken Jack a few nights of simultaneously thinking and waiting for the feeling to return to his extremities to figure out what their problem was. When they went to sleep, Jack immediately dropped off into his deepest (some might call it 'dead to the world') state of sleeping. It was probably because with a life and career like he had lived, you really didn't want to waste one precious second of sleeping time.

So, while he was dead to the world, Carter slipped off into dreamland gradually, warm, soft, nicely snuggled up with him, perfectly content to share the covers. Then, before she was deeply, deeply asleep, some crazy part of her brain made her take all the warm covers and her warmer self over to the other side of the bed. By the time Jack was out of his dead-to-the-world phase enough to realize he was freezing off vital bits of his anatomy and wake himself up, she was the one completely zonked.

Jack wasn't stupid (despite what some people might think.) He knew full well that if the only problem he and Sam had was while they were sleeping, he was pretty damn lucky. But they had both waited so long just to be allowed to be together like this, something the majority of the world's population completely took for granted, he couldn't help but think that they were entitled, after all this time, to perfect. And they almost had it.

He had to admit, any apprehensions he might have had about 'problems in the bedroom' had most certainly not been centered around the time in the bedroom when they were actually sleeping. After all, he wasn't exactly a young man anymore, he could admit to himself. And only to himself. But it was true. All the new physical and emotional parts of their relationship had grown naturally from the parts they already had, without those cherished older parts being lost in the change. They just... grew. Spread out naturally... like crystals. Okay, that was totally Sam's metaphor he had just stolen, but she was asleep so who cared?

So, all in all he was infinitely happier than he had ever really thought he had any right to be. But sometimes it was still hard to remember that when he was trying to sleep and keep from developing frostbite at the same time.

While zonked-out-Sam obviously wasn't too concerned with his predicament, she more than made up for it while she was awake. He did complain and he did tease her for turning into a hamster at night, but he had to be careful, because he had soon realized that she was actually quite bothered by her own unconscious behavior. At first she had been defensive about it, pointing out that she had slept that way her entire life, so it wasn't exactly an easy thing to change in just a few nights.

But as that number of nights had increased, so had her frustration with herself. She didn't know why she stole all the covers and left him to 'freeze to death,' and she certainly couldn't control or be held accountable for her actions while she was asleep. But she still felt guilty about it, despite the fact that she had yet to use the phrase 'freeze to death' without air quotes and sarcasm.

Still, Sam Carter couldn't stand an unanswered question, and he knew it was irritating her to death that she couldn't figure this out. It only frustrated her even more that she was the one responsible for presenting herself with a mystery that had so far denied an explanation, and a problem that defied a solution.

At this point, Jack was finally beginning to understand something: old habits die hard. While the idea of being part of proving such a particularly awful cliché true was definitely not appealing, he was beginning to think that if he wanted to cure Sam of her selfish sleep habits, he needed to try thinking outside the box.

For the rest of that night, at least he wasn't cold, although since the way he got round that was by staying awake, working out a plan, he figured it was a temporary solution to only part of the problem. After all, he did need to sleep, but being awake and thinking also had the added bonus of spending lots of time curled around his warm, soft, sleeping bed buddy/whatever-name-they-finally-agreed-upon, making sure she never got the chance to get away from him.

By the time she started to wake up in the morning, he had an idea. It was a little bit out there, but then again that's what 'outside the box' was all about, right? Happy and now almost looking forward to putting his plan into motion the next night, he didn't realize she was gradually waking up until she nuzzled his shoulder and hugged him tightly, inhaling deeply.

"Morning."

"You're awake early," Sam the-earliest-bird-on-the-planet Carter commented, speaking directly into that soft space between his shoulder and chest. She lifted her head to look at his face, her chin poking into his shoulder and tickling a little, and corrected herself. "No, you're just up really late. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said with an I'm-not-hiding-anything smile.

"Jack..." she sighed, and somehow he felt it go through her entire body. "How many?"

"How many what?" he asked.

"How many times? Last night?" Sam clarified. She was getting irked. It didn't take long to irk her before coffee, and he found that quite funny.

"Me or you? I don't think we really need to keep score, Sam, but if I recall it was..." he started innocently, trailing off when she poked his ribcage with one sharp prodding finger.

She made that irritated sound that was remarkably similar to a growl and said, "Jack, you know what I'm talking about."

Victory, Jack thought with a smile into his pillow.

"Okay. I woke up three times."

She groaned and pressed a long kiss into his neck that was surprisingly soft and sweet considering she'd just been so irked. "I'm really sorry," she said sincerely.

"It's okay," Jack said quickly, running his fingers around on her back lightly. "It was actually good – it gave me time to formulate my plan."

"Your plan?" Sam asked, amused.

"Yup. Battle strategy. Or de-programming strategy. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing but I guarantee you will be amazed at the results."

Laughing, she said, "You shouldn't have to do that."

"Hey, I sit at a desk all the time now, I've got to come up with something to keep me occupied."

"I think we were doing okay on that front already."

"You are most definitely correct about that, Carter. But this... this might actually be something I can share when Daniel and Teal'c ask me what I've been up to."

"Teal'c would never ask you what you've been up to," Sam countered. "And I don't think Daniel would either, knowing what a loaded question that is now. Not after he called while we were at the cabin last year, and you gave him that graphically honest answer."

"Yeah... all the more reason for me to come up with something I can share with them. 'Operation Separate Sam from her unnatural tendency to Bogart the covers.'"

"Bit of a mouthful, isn't it?" Sam asked with a giggle.

"That's my line," Jack objected, tickling her ribs. She squirmed and continued giggling. "That's against the rules," he reminded.

"Then stop making me," she gasped in between laughs.

He stopped, content just to be lying there. He was really, really tired after all; he'd had a busy night of blanket-recovery and plotting. She moved to get up but he objected, tightening his arms around her as he said, "Not yet."

"I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back."

He let go of her and cracked one eye open as she slid off the bed and headed to the bathroom, just in time to catch a good glimpse before she pulled the t-shirt (his) she scooped off the floor over her head. She turned quickly after smoothing it down to where it reached mid-thigh and caught him. He gave her a sheepish grin and shrug and she went into the bathroom laughing.

When she came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, he pulled back the covers for her and was mildly surprised when she actually slid in next to him; usually as soon as she was awake she was ready to get up, even on Saturdays. He figured she was being extra nice because she still felt guilty about waking him up so much, but he was too tired and warm to care about her motives at the moment.

"So, are you going to tell me about this brilliant plant of yours?" Sam asked, turning on her side to face him. Her bright smile confirmed his expectations - she was completely wide awake. Well, why shouldn't she be? She had slept like a log, after all.

She always did. It had surprised him at first, because she had always been a pretty light sleeper in the field. But Sam, as Jack's grandmother would have said, slept hard. She crashed and then clung to sleep fiercely for about four or five hours, then woke up ready to attack another day with the same relentless energy. Or even the next two or three days sometimes, in her case.

So, the fact that she seemed willing, this morning, to keep him company while he dawdled around in bed, not really awake but not quite asleep either, reinforced his ideas about how guilty she felt about her habitual nocturnal thievery.

"Nope, not gonna tell ya," he answered, as he pulled her up against him in a quick hug that took her by surprise and made her yelp. Before she could get too settled in like she was he pulled her shirt back off and tossed it back to the floor, refusing to acknowledge the fact that she was laughing at him. He tucked her, on her back, half-underneath him, pinning her down with an arm and leg so she wouldn't be able to slip away unnoticed if he did fall back asleep, and then tucked the covers tightly around them both.

"Comfortable?" she asked with an amused smile down at the top of his head that he felt rather than saw as he abandoned his pillow in favor of her chest.

"Yup."

"Good." She scratched the back of his neck lightly, not saying anything more, but he figured she'd only be able to take that for about five minutes.

When five minutes were up and she was still lying there peacefully, not even going through the list of all the stuff they had to do that day before everyone showed up for the upcoming barbecue, he smiled. Apparently she felt really guilty.

Paradoxically (and he cringed as he realized he had mentally just begun a sentence with that word), her uncharacteristic behavior, which was meant to lull him back to sleep, was actually intriguing him enough to make him decide that sleep, at least for the time being, was highly overrated. It would be terrible, after all, to pass up such a rare and perfect opportunity for really slow Saturday Morning Sex. Yes. It was worthy of capitalization.

Lieutenant General Jack O'Neill loved to barbecue. It was one of the things he hated most about the DC apartment where he currently resided for far too much of the time - no place to barbecue. Not that the time or the weather available there leant themselves to the past time much anyway… and it would be awfully lonely cooking for one most of the time…

Anyway, when he was back at his real home in Colorado he barbecued whenever he could. It was something of a tradition, begun years ago shortly after SG-1 had originally been formed. Over the years they had gathered in his backyard so many times he had lost count. It was second nature now whenever he was in town and they weren't off-world to have them all over. He even let them bring the "new kids," Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell and newest alien recruit Vala Malduran, although the latter kept pointing out that they weren't really "new" anymore.

Today was going to be one of the better barbecues though, he was sure of it. Because the best barbecues always had a little surprise to them. And today he had a big surprise for all of them.

He was grinning to himself, picturing the looks on Daniel and Teal'c's faces, when said surprise walked into the kitchen wearing a bath robe that covered far too much, in his opinion. Her skin was pink from her shower - she took ridiculously hot showers - and her hair was wet. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Not funny. Just thinking," he said, pouring coffee for both of them.

"Don't strain anything," she advised.

"Cute. If you must know I was picturing the blubbering goldfish look Danny Boy is going to have when you jump out and surprise them."

"Jump out?" she asked in amusement. "Why do I have to jump out? Can't I just be here when they get here?"

"But what am I supposed to do with the giant hollow cake I ordered for you to jump out of?" he joked. When she raised an eyebrow in response, he said, "Come on, humor me? It'll be great. They think it's just me in town to do a check on the SGC, they didn't gate in until late last night so there's no way they've been by or anything… I specifically told Hank NOT to tell them you're back from Atlantis so we could surprise them…"

"Okay, okay," Sam relented, too happy herself to be back to consider ruining his little fun. She sipped her coffee and said suddenly, "Wait a minute. Did you specifically assign them to the mineral survey they've been on the past three weeks so they wouldn't be here when I first got back?"

He shrugged, grinning unapologetically. "You'll never prove it. Anyone could've set that schedule… and besides, I didn't want them hogging you as soon as you got home."

She snorted into her coffee cup. "Hogging me?"

"Yeah." He pushed up his nose and made an oinking noise. "Hogging you."

She laughed. "Well, okay, but before I go into hiding we have a lot to do."

"What's to do," he shrugged. "Mitchell's bringing the beer, Daniel's bringing the aliens."

"And I'm sure Teal'c's bringing the salad. No surprises there," she mused, popping bread into the toaster.

"Nope, no surprises there," Jack agreed, smiling to himself again. She might be in on this surprise, but he had another one up his sleeve she knew nothing about.

Jack was washing and preparing vegetables for people to put on their burgers when Sam came in, looking a little nervous. "I was kidding about jumping out of a giant cake. I would never have you do that." He paused for a moment and added, "In front of other people."

She rolled her eyes but was smiling. "It's not that. I just got off the phone… I had a surprise for you today too… but my surprise has its own surprise so now I think I'd better just tell you about it now so you're not too surprised."

"Uh-oh. Bad surprise I take it?"

"Not bad, just… well, different. Cassie's coming."

"That's great!" he said enthusiastically, failing to see the problem. The girl was almost finished with her first year of medical school, and Jack missed her a lot being in DC most of the time. Although now that Sam was back, he was definitely going to be spending as much time as possible here instead of there.

"She's driving in from Denver so she won't get here til the party's well under way but still. But um, here's the thing. She just called and warned me she's um, bringing someone."

"Well we've got enough food to feed at least twenty people so…"

"As in, a guy."

"A guy," Jack stated, looking as though he had never heard of such a thing. "Cassie. Our little Cassie…"

"It's not like this is the first time she's dated anybody…"

"Yeah but it's the first time she's willingly introduced any of us to someone."

"You're right. Must be serious," Sam said, just the faintest hint of amusement in her voice at how this news was affecting him.

"It's not serious and he's never touched her," Jack said quickly.

Sam patted his arm sympathetically. "You keep telling yourself that if it helps. I'll just go finish my letter to Santa Claus and mail the Easter bunny some fresh carrots."

"It's not funny," Jack insisted.

"I know. Look, let's just wait and see what he's like. Who knows, you might really like him." her attempt to placate him was totally transparent, but he appreciated it all the same. Even if it didn't really help.

"Fat chance," Jack said, stabbing the tomato he'd been slicing moodily.

Sam glanced at the clock and offered, "I think I might have time to make some cake if that will cheer you up."

He smiled. "Cool."

She returned the smile and went back to the task at hand.

Feeling his eyes still on her several seconds later, she looked back up at him. "What?"

He started to ask her something but stopped, shook his head, and said, "Never mind."

He mentally patted himself on the back for showing such restraint. He'd almost made the mistake of bringing up the only thing they still hadn't really worked out, which was an extension of the 'how would I introduce you if we ran into an old friend of mine somewhere' issue.

While arguing about the semantics of labels like 'girlfriend,' Jack had, early on, accidentally hit on something else when he had casually thrown out, "Let's just get married, that'll make it easy." He fully admitted, later, that that probably had not been the best way to propose. But since he felt like they were married already anyway, and (according to Daniel) they certainly acted like it already, he didn't really see the big deal.

There was something stopping Sam though, aside from his poorly worded first proposal. Because there had been several better ones after that. She never said no, but she never said yes either. It had sort of become like their long-standing "Want to go fishing?" "No (but keep asking)" conversation.

At this point, sometimes she just smiled when he said it, but sometimes he could tell it made her genuinely uncomfortable, and she did an evasive trying to explain/trying not to let something out thing that just left them both irritated. So today he decided not to risk spoiling the happy mood. For whatever reason (and he knew she had one, he just didn't know what it was), she wasn't comfortable with anything official yet. But he knew she'd say yes eventually; she'd already told him as much.

Feeling her eyes still on him, he looked over at her and returned the 'thank you' smile with a 'you're welcome' one. Did it completely defeat the purpose that she had known exactly what he was going to say anyway, despite the fact that he hadn't actually said it? He would have guessed yes, but judging by her response, apparently the right answer was 'no.'

Sam finished her dip thing she was making and picked up the large dish, which required both hands. "Want me to get the oven?" he asked, heading towards it anyway before she answered.

"Yes, please." He opened the door and she slid it carefully in, waited until he shut the door, and set the timer. "I love you, you know," she told him in an uncharacteristically serious tone as she took the oven mitt off of her hand and tossed it onto the counter behind him.

He smiled in surprise – neither of them were going to be winning any prizes for most mushy speaker of the year anytime soon, despite how wonderfully close they were. It just wasn't how they were – Daniel was the word-driven one, the rest of them were action-driven. "I know," he said simply. "And I love you... and as soon as I can get you to stop hoarding the covers we'll be all set," he added, pulling her into a tight hug.

She laughed into his neck, rubbing his back, and said, "Still not going to tell me your big secret plan?"

"Nope. It might not work if you know what to expect."

"That sounds..." she trailed off as he kissed her, truly (really, Scout's honor) not intending anything more than a simple, easy, slow liplock.

Sam had other ideas, and her ideas had never disappointed him before and had frequently completely blown his mind. She quickly caused a long, hot build-up of need to jump from gentle to rough, then back to tender as she bit and sucked at his lip, smiling against his mouth when his tongue suddenly became twice as aggressive as hers, deliberately torturing both of them until he had no idea why they were even in the kitchen in the first place, let alone why they were wearing so many stupid clothes.

"God, Carter, are you trying to kill me?" he gasped.

At the same time, she said thoughtfully, "Ominous."

"Huh?" Okay, there were a truckload of adjectives that would have been appropriate after a kiss like that, but ominous wasn't exactly one of them.

"What sounds ominous?"

"Whatever we were talking about."

"Okay," he agreed, looking around the kitchen quickly. "Are we done here?"

"Um. I was going to make dessert," she said hesitantly, clearly fully aware that the statement invited one of many rather obvious suggestive responses.

Rather than bothering to pick one and actually say it out loud, Jack just let it go and asked hopefully, "Cake?"

"Maybe. Want to hang around and lick the spoon?"

Jack groaned and stopped trying to control his hands, which very much wanted to be running up and down her arms. "You're really trying to kill me today, aren't you?" he asked, knowing full well that if you factored in more showers and Sam drying her hair they definitely did not have time for anything that involved lots and lots more skin.

"That's a 'no,' then?" she asked, clearly amused and pleased with herself.

"Sam, unless you were planning on giving all of our friends and our goddaughter a very graphic greeting when they arrive, I think it would be a very good idea if I removed myself from this kitchen." She did the lip-chewing thing that he'd still never told her drove him crazy and he quickly added, "Immediately."

She ducked under his arm and crossed the kitchen to another cupboard, pulling out a plastic bowl for the cake she was going to make, giving him a sweetly innocent smile that he really didn't buy for a second.

"I'm going to go clean the grill," he said quickly, yanking open the back door.

Twenty minutes later, his mind sufficiently numbed by the simple work required in cleaning the outdoor grill, he smiled as one hand pressed into his back between his shoulder blades and the other snaked under his arm, which was busy scraping at the grill, holding one of the things from the electric mixer, dripping with chocolatey batter. He dropped the scraper brush and took her offering happily, wrapping his arm around her as he licked at the batter.

"Good?"

"Perfect. Don't even bother putting it in the oven, let's just serve it like this. Hand out spoons to everyone and let them dig in."

She laughed, scratched his back lightly for a moment, and went back inside. As he stood there, licking the batter (and dripping a fair bit of it onto the freshly-cleaned grill,) something occurred to him. Unless he was sorely mistaken, he had just figured out why Sam always said no when he asked, but never seemed scared about the idea in general...

His head whipped around to the back door, but she was long gone. He felt like running up to her and chanting, "I figured you ouuut, I figured you ouuuuut," but doubted that would go over well. Besides, if he was right, it would be much better to bring this up later, when they weren't about to have a house full of people. Maybe tomorrow... or maybe he could run this by Daniel tonight, see if his theory made sense at all or if it was just the chocolate talking or something.

The back door opened again and he turned around with a ridiculously large smile on his face, still inordinately pleased with himself for his revelation, as Sam called, "Hey, Jack, I'm going to go change, if the timer goes off can you come get me?"

"Yeahsureyoubetcha," he replied.

She eyed him warily. "You okay?"

"Never better," he assured her, picking up the scrubby brush thing in an attempt to look slightly more normal. From the look on her face, he guessed that he didn't quite pull it off. "Almost done with the grill too."

"Okay... thanks." She went back inside and the door clicked shut softly.

Jack quickly finished up with the grill and went inside, peering into the oven for his cake... he frowned at the spinach dip. It was excellent spinach dip, but when you're expecting chocolate cake, spinach dip is just disappointing.

He opened the lower oven door and said quietly, "Jackpot."

He inhaled the cakey smells slowly, nearly jumping out of his skin when Sam appeared next to him and commented, "It's going to take a lot longer to cook with the door open."

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Jack yelped.

"Never. Are you done ogling the cake? We should get cleaned up."

"Can I ogle you instead?"

"Yeahsureyoubetcha." She pecked him on the mouth again and left the kitchen quickly.

Jack followed her, frowning suddenly. "What should I wear?" he called.

Jack groaned as Sam came out of the bathroom, hair and makeup done and clothes on. She was dressed casually and comfortably, in jeans and a lightweight navy sweater that he knew for a fact was even softer than it looked. The sweater was the reason for the groan. When she leaned forward the loose V-neck had a truly spectacular view.

"Do you have to wear that?" he asked. It came out sounding much harsher than he meant.

She stood up from tying her shoes, smoothing the sweater and looking down at herself in confusion. "You gave me this sweater, Jack," she reminded him.

"I know, but... whenever you wear it I can't stop touching you..."

"Maybe that's the idea," Sam smirked.

He rolled his eyes. "You're being very evil today," he accused.

"Poor baby," she teased mildly, stepping close to him and smoothing out the wrinkles of his muted button-down shirt. The green plaid one that was kind of like the cushions on her couch (where she didn't really live anymore.) He couldn't help but notice she was taking her own sweet time on the little adjustments to his shirt, and the distracted look on her face told him she wasn't just trying to get to him.

He smiled at that thought and covered both of her hands with his, pressing her palms flat against his chest for a few moments before squeezing her fingers gently and tucking them into his hands. Smiling warmly, he said, "I always knew you liked this shirt."

"You're looking at me differently," she commented.

"No I'm not."

"Yeah – you look like you know something I don't."

"Maybe you just don't know that I know something you already know," he countered. She shook her head, her eyes twinkling, and they both jumped as the doorbell rang. "Well, let's see, impeccable timing as always, this must be Daniel Jackson," Jack commented.

"I seriously have to hide? I haven't seen them in ages."

"Just for a few minutes, until they're all here, and I give you the signal."

"What's the signal?" Sam asked.

"I don't know… just…" the doorbell was ringing again, more rapidly. "… just come out whenever you want, but make sure everyone's here first. Except Cassie I mean, that would take too long."

"All right," she agreed with a sigh.

He grinned, kissed her, and hurried to get the door before Daniel decided to just use his own key.

Opening it, he found Daniel with Teal'c and Vala. "Jack," Daniel said in greeting, already sounding exasperated. "Why was the door locked? You never lock your door."

"People change, Danny boy, what can I tell you. Good to see you guys, come on in." Jack clapped Daniel and then Teal'c on the back in what he considered to be manly hugs. It had been a few months since he'd seen them in person.

Vala hugged him enthusiastically, which he tolerated, although privately he thought they didn't really know each other well enough yet to be on hugging terms. Still, she was a hugger. "General O'Neill! Thank you so much for inviting us!"

"Sure, no problem. Good to see you. Mitchell's not here yet. Oh, and I just found out Cassie's coming by later and she's bringing somebody she's been dating apparently, so we have to watch what we say once he gets here. And T, I believe you and I might have to find some time to have a private conversation with the lad."

"Understood, O'Neill," Teal'c said stoically. Jack grinned. Teal'c just got him.

At that moment, Mitchell started making his way up the driveway behind the group, carrying a bunch of beer. "The beer is here!" he called. "Somebody help me before I drop it all over the driveway."

They all hurried to help him, and once his burden was lightened, he shook Jack's hand. "General, nice to see you, sir."

"You too Mitchell. In fact, I've never been happier to see you," Jack said, snagging a Guinness from the six pack in his hand.

Daniel rolled his eyes and said, "Can we get inside now, please? We're all here."

"What about Cassie?" Vala asked as they all filed inside.

"Cassie?" Mitchell asked sharply.

"Yeah," Vala said, looking at him like he'd grown an extra head. "Cassandra Frasier. We met her at Sam's going away party. General O'Neill was just telling us she's going to be here today as well, and apparently she's bringing someone for he and Teal'c to terrify."

"New boyfriend she wants us to meet," Jack explained.

"Oh. Really." Cameron finally remarked, seemingly unable to come up with something else to say.

"Yeah. Don't worry, Mitchell, you can help us scare him if you want," Jack offered, clapping him on the back goodnaturedly.

It was then that he noticed Daniel scrutinizing him closely. "What is it, Daniel, did you forget how handsome I am in the months we were apart?" he asked jokingly.

"No," Daniel said thoughtfully. "But you're… happy."

He stated it as though he had just diagnosed Jack with some obscure medical condition that had been eluding doctors for years.

"I'm what?" Jack asked, trying to look blank.

"You don't usually act like this unless…" Daniel started.

Jack swatted the air between them. "You have to ruin everything, don't you Spacemonkey? Jeez, can't a guy arrange a nice little surprise for anyone these days?"

He looked over towards the hallway that lead to the bedrooms and called, "Come on out!"

Sam emerged, grinning a little sheepishly. "Hi, guys."

Daniel and Teal'c hurried over to greet her, closely followed by Cameron and Vala, and Jack lost track of everyone for several minutes as they swarmed around her, hugging her and demanding to know when she had gotten back, how long she was going to be here this time, and about a million other questions.

"Guys, let me get a word in and I'll explain!" she finally said, laughing. "It's really simple. I got fired," she shrugged, grinning from ear to ear.

"Aren't people usually upset when that happens?" Vala asked Daniel, looking confused.

"Yeah, they are," Daniel said, scowling. "Sam, what do you mean, why would they fire you?"

"She's too good at her job," Jack called. "One year under military leadership, no more replicator problem in Atlantis, Wraith under control… the IOA doesn't think a military person needs to be in charge during 'peace time.'" He frowned to show what he thought of that stupid assessment, but then added brightly, "But good for us, right?"

"Very," Sam agreed.

"So you're home for good now?" Daniel asked. "Where are you going to work? Are you coming back to SG1?"

"I don't know, guys. We haven't really worked out all the details," Sam said. "But probably no, not that, Daniel," she said gently.

He started to protest but then nodded like he understood.

"So, great surprise, huh?" Jack asked, rocking proudly on his heels.

"You and your surprise barbecues," Daniel muttered as they all headed to the backyard, Sam listening patiently to Vala's list of complaints about being the only woman currently on SG-1.

Jack surveyed his back yard happily, glad that everything was going relatively smoothly and everyone seemed to be having a good time. He was a bit unorthodox in most things, but especially when it came to parties and things. He was perfectly willing to put in the work, enjoyed playing host actually, but during the party itself he liked to sit back and watch it happen.

Sam was perched on the picnic table, talking to Daniel. She was smiling and gesturing with her hands while she talked, so Jack figured she was telling a good story.

Vala, Teal'c, and Mitchell were playing with a Frisbee, the two aliens fascinated by it but clearly not understanding the fact that there wasn't really a point to it other than tossing the thing back and forth. He watched as they attempted to get Sam and Daniel in on the game. Sam relented but Daniel held firm, even when Vala tried to literally drag him off the bench he was on. Instead, Daniel headed his way and joined him on the patio.

"Hey, Jack. Great party."

"Thanks."

Daniel was giving him a funny look, like he was trying to read his mind or something. Jack tolerated this for about two seconds before demanding, "Daniel, what?"

"Nothing. I just... apparently lost a bet to Vala."

"You had a bet with Vala?" Jack asked, amused. "She's a con, Daniel. Don't you know any better by now?"

"Yeah," Daniel admitted sheepishly. "I thought... when you invited us all over and Sam was here, you and Sam were uh..."

"What?" Jack prompted blankly.

"I thought you were going to make an... announcement. You know, like maybe something official…"

"Oh, that," Jack said, glancing at Daniel and then looking down at the beer bottle he was rolling back and forth in his hands, really just playing with it. He remembered he had wanted to get Daniel's opinion on it, but wasn't sure this was the best place. He glanced around the yard; everyone was preoccupied, although Teal'c had just appeared next to Daniel out of nowhere, somehow successfully extracting himself from the increasingly violent Frisbee match taking place. "I did want to talk to you guys about that... because she keeps on saying no, but..."

"What?" Daniel said loudly. He cringed and whispered, "Sorry," as several pairs of eyes looked over at them.

"Let's go inside," Jack said quickly. Teal'c and Daniel followed him inside and into the kitchen.

"Are you saying you've already asked her to marry you?" Daniel demanded at once.

"God, Daniel, you sound like a gossipy teenager... and yes, okay, I've asked her several times as a matter of fact."

"And she has refused your request?" Teal'c asked, sounding surprised. Well, surprised for Teal'c.

"Look, it's not like I don't wonder what the hell she sees in me frequently, guys, but it's weird... it's like she's not opposed to the idea of... I don't know. Us as an us. She just won't agree to marry me. But I think I figured it out today."

"What did she say?"

"I haven't brought it up yet because we were getting ready for tonight and everything. But tell me if this makes sense at all. She's had two busted engagements, right? Pete, and that guy a long time ago, Jonas Hansen."

"Oh, I think I see where you're going with this," Daniel said. "You're saying she's worried that if you're officially engaged, something will go wrong?"

"Right. Like... maybe it's not being married that's the problem, it's the whole 'getting married,' thing."

"Well... but to be married you have to get married."

"Ya think?"

"So how are you going to get around..."

Sam and Vala came into the kitchen chatting. They stopped and looked at Daniel and Jack suspiciously. They had quickly stopped talking and were trying to look casual. And failing miserably.

"What's... going on in here, guys?" Vala asked.

"Nothing," they said quickly.

"Looks like you owe me, Vala," Sam commented as she went to the cupboard and got the cake.

"Yes, it does," Vala said. They started cutting it up and putting it on separate plates.

"Owe you for what?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Sam said, echoing his own bad lie.

Jack crossed his arms over his chest and watched her as she went to the freezer for the ice cream. "You bet on whether or not I was in here eating the cake, didn't you?" he demanded suddenly.

Sam looked at him quickly and turned red. "Y-yes... but I won because I bet that you hadn't touched it."

"Oh. Well... okay then. But I get the best piece," he said, glaring at Vala for betting against him.

Daniel pulled out the money he owed Vala and paid it to Sam instead. Sam looked at the bill in her hand in confusion. Vala looked at Daniel in surprise, and he motioned with his head for her to follow him into the living room. They left with their cake.

"What the hell is that all about?" Sam asked, handing Jack a plate loaded with a huge piece of cake and a lot of ice cream.

"No idea," he said, taking an overly large bite so he wouldn't have to answer. Plus it was cake. Really good cake. Made by Sam.

"WHAT?" Vala exclaimed loudly from the living room.

"I will go make sure Vala Malduran does not need assistance," Teal'c said, quickly excusing himself.

Sam and Jack turned to each other. "I gotta work on smooth exits with him, don't I?" Jack asked, taking another huge bite of cake.

"Hey, I'm here!" a familiar voice called loudly just before Cassie came into the room smiling. And alone.

Jack hugged her. "Hey, kiddo. I thought you were bringing some punk kid."

Rolling her eyes as she hugged him back, Cassie said absently, "I changed my mind" before exclaiming, "Sam!"

Jack watched as she hurried hugged the older woman enthusiastically, not having seen her in person in over a year. He noticed that everyone else gave them a few minutes alone before coming back into the ktichen to greet Cassie as well, and figured that now that Cassie was here was a good time to start working on announcing his next surprise…

"Okay, time for barbecue smores!" he called, adding more lighter fluid to the pit so that it flared up hugely.

Everyone came over, Daniel in the middle of explaining what a smore was to Vala. Jack passed out the long forks they used for nothing else but this and tossed the bag of marshmallows to Teal'c.

They all settled into a comfortable circle, people occasionally getting up to toast another marshmallow… or help someone blow one out when it caught on fire.

Everyone was relaxing and joking around, and Jack was just waiting for the right time…

"So Cassie why did you back out of bringing your boyfriend?" Vala was asking. "Surely it couldn't be because you didn't want him to meet those three," she said, nodding to Daniel, Teal'c, and Jack.

"Hey," Daniel objected. "I was nothing but polite to that guy who came to your birthday party that time."

"That's true… although polite doesn't have to mean treating a guy to the history of piercing just because he has a tongue ring," Cassie smirked, recalling the occasion vividly. The poor boy had been positively green after Daniel had described how some rural tribe pierced as many places on their body as they could.

"Tongue ring?" Mitchell choked out, choking on a bit of graham cracker.

Teal'c hit him on the back helpfully. "Indeed. The young man had vividly green hair too, as I recall. It was most disturbing."

Vala laughed.

"ANYWAY," Cassie said. "Let's just relax. Enough about me…"

"Yeah, I want to hear more about what happened in Atlantis," Daniel insisted. "Sam, I still don't see how they could have fired you. I mean…"

Sam shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

Jack figured now was as good a time as any. "Well, I guess technically, she was both fired and promoted."

Everyone turned to look at him, mainly looking confused. None looked as stumped as Sam though. He rarely got to leave her completely dumbfounded, and relished the rare opportunity.

After a few moments of silence, he added, "The IOA fired her for doing a good job but the Air Force is promoting her. The next ship's almost ready to roll off the assembly line, and it's all yours, Carter," he said, smiling proudly.

She seemed to have been frozen in place as she worked through what he just said. Slowly. Then, she got up from where she was sitting between Cassie and Teal'c - also slowly - and walked over to him. He was certain he was in for at least a big hug of thanks, and maybe even a bit more even though PDAs weren't really their thing, and stood there rocking on his heels while she approached, congratulating himself at his own brilliance in hiding it from her and getting the President to let him be the one to tell her…

When she reached him she didn't throw her arms around him in gratitude. She shoved the rest of her piece of cake in his face with a "Jack O'Neill!" that sounded like it was a swear word in and of itself based on tone alone.

"What?" he spluttered, now back to being the one dumbfounded.

"I told you after the last time you surprised me with a promotion not to do anything like that again!"

"You did?" he asked sheepishly, wiping his face off. She was right, now that she mentioned it, she had said something… "At least it's not in public this time," he defended.

"What are we, shrubbery?" Daniel cut in.

"Speak for yourself, Daniel," Vala said.

"Shhh," Mitchell scolded them both.

"You know what I mean," Jack said.

"Congratulations!" Daniel said quickly after a few moments of silence.

Jack started wiping off his face while they all started echoing the sentiment, finally going into the kitchen to utilize the sink and several paper towels.

He wasn't surprised when Sam joined him after a minute. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry about the cake. I uh, I was surprised."

"Bullshit. You were embarrassed."

"What?" she asked defensively.

"You got the same surprised, 'who me, what could I possibly have done to deserve this' look on your face you got the last three times you were promoted. The sheepish embarrassed one," he informed her.

"I… I did? I do?"

"Oh yeah. Look, you deserve this command. just like you deserved the Atlantis command and your last three promotions." he scrubbed his face dry with a fresh paper towel. "Ah, hell. Maybe I should've let the President do it. Or Landry."

"Why?"

"Because I know what you're thinking. You're thinking this was all me so it doesn't really count."

"I… I wasn't…" she tried.

"I just wanted to be the one to tell you. You earned this, Carter," he said, automatically reverting to her surname because they were talking about work. "You shouldn't be second-guessing that. Not for a second."

He looked at her seriously until he could tell it had finally sunk in. then, she smiled. Finally. He pulled her into a hug. She returned it, hugging tight, then leaned back and smiled at him. "You still have cake on your chin," she informed him.

He shrugged. "I'll get it later."

"I think I can help you out with that, actually." She kissed a spot on his chin carefully, where he assumed he had icing, then moved on to another spot, and another… and suddenly he was really wishing there weren't a bunch of other people in the house when she reached the corner of his mouth.

They were interrupted when Daniel came bursting into the kitchen with Vala in tow, ostensibly looking for coffee, but really, Jack was sure, just being nosey.

"Coffee!" Daniel spluttered. "I was… going to see if anyone's made coffee yet. The sun's going down and it's getting chilly."

"Have at it, Spacemonkey," Jack said, waving him towards the coffee pot.

"Everything okay?" Vala asked knowingly.

"Yes, thank you," Sam said coolly, tucking her hair back behind her ears.

"So," Daniel said as he set about making the coffee. Cameron, Cassie, and Teal'c joined them, apparently having been lurking outside the door after sending in Vala and Daniel as scouts first. "Sam, I guess you could probably say this was the most surprising barbecue yet, huh?"

"Well, I don't know about that," she said, thinking back.

"Oh yeah," Daniel agreed. "I guess nothing could be more surprising than that first one!"

She laughed.

Jack looked at both of them. "Hey, that surprised the heck out of me. what were you two so surprised about?"

Daniel stared at him like he was insane. "Jack, don't you remember what you said?"

"Daniel, I may be getting older but my memory is still just fine, thank you. Of course I remember it. I was surprised that it didn't turn into a huge geek fest and I actually had a good time with you people. No offense, Teal'c," he added pointedly.

"No offense taken, O'Neill."

"Very funny, Jack," Daniel said sarcastically.

Sam merely smirked. "Actually, now that you mention it, Daniel, that was pretty surprising."

"I still don't get what surprised you two about that day. Unless it was my marvelous skills at the grill."

"Hey, someone fill us in, please, so we can weigh in here," Vala demanded, indicating herself and Mitchell.

Original SG-1 all looked at each other. Jack shrugged. "I'll bite."

Author's Note: Thanks to an observant reviewer, I've changed a bit of this to fix a HUGE error on my part regarding when Carter was promoted. Thanks, steadfast!

Also note, in the next chapter, Carter's "experiment" was done on an old episode of Mythbusters. After seeing that one, my family always does the salt water thing for soda and beer at parties. I haven't tried the other ones.


	2. Then

Author's Note: This chapter used to be its own story. A long time ago, I had planned to do a long series of stories of post-eps where the team had a barbecue. Then I found a great series already in production that was basically the same thing only with campfires instead (Campfire, by polrobin). So anyway, I decided not to do it. But I still like this story on its own so I'm glad to find a place to put it up after all this time! I wanted to focus on the contrast between then and now with putting these two together this way.

Chapter Two: Then

_Flashback, Season One, shortly after "Emancipation"_

Colonel Jack O'Neill wasn't entirely sure this was a good idea. Sure, he liked a good barbecue as much as the next guy - but the typical 'next guy' wasn't exactly on the guest list. His new teammates were, and while he thought so far they were getting along much better than anyone ever could have predicted, given their eclectic backgrounds, being good together in the field on a few missions in a row didn't necessarily mean they'd be able to hang out together on the weekends like he used to do with Kawalsky, Feretti, and the other guys.

He had a hard time picturing his new 2IC, Captain Samantha Carter, resident super-genius of the SGC, hanging around eating barbecue and drinking beer. Or doing anything relaxing in general, now that he thought about it. He knew she logged a lot of weekend hours on base and he had yet to see her do anything that could remotely be considered 'relaxing.' Even when the team ate meals together, she was always either half-paying attention to the conversation while her mind obviously thought about things Jack doubted he could even begin to pronounce, much less understand, or she was firing questions at Daniel about his area of expertise, or asking Teal'c question after question about what he knew about Goa'uld technology. Daniel, of course, was clearly overjoyed with having someone who actually wanted to listed to him prattle on about Ancient Egypt and who knew what else. Teal'c always answered her questions patiently, but Jack got the feeling the larger man would have enjoyed his meal more in silence.

Speaking of the other male members of SG-1, Jack wasn't at all convinced that either one of them would be better barbecue companions than Carter. Teal'c would no doubt go along with it at least once - he was so far open to all the 'Tauri experiences' Jack had introduced him to, but on the whole Jack got the opinion Teal'c thought most of Earth's past times were rather pointless and foolish, although of course Teal'c never said anything. It was just the vibe Jack got from the guy sometimes, when he was being stoic in a certain _way. _Still, the man did love to eat, and Jack was cooking enough food for half the SGC, so Jack was less concerned about how Teal'c would get along with the concept of a barbecue than Daniel.

Daniel Jackson. Teal'c's intergalactic origins notwithstanding, Jack was pretty sure Daniel was the most alien member of their team. Carter confused him with her technobabble but there was no doubt in Jack's mind that she was an excellent soldier. In just a few short missions she had proven her field skills went above and beyond what he had expected from _any _2IC, let alone one as green and geeky as her. So while they didn't seem to have much in common beyond being Air Force officers, that alone boded well for them, at least professionally. And Teal'c was a warrior, plain and simple. The type who had been between a rock and a hard place with other people's lives in his hands for so long that he just _got it, _got a lot of what made Jack Jack and what made Teal'c Teal'c, in a way that neither man needed or wanted to talk about to be able to understand each other on a very fundamental level.

But Daniel. Now that one, Jack just didn't get. He got that Daniel loved his wife and her family, but beyond that sense of loyalty, Jack just didn't see what the two of them would ever have in common beyond SG-1. When Daniel met scary hostile aliens with weapons, his first instinct was to run up to them open-handed and strike up a conversation. Jack's was to show them just how far Earth's own weaponry had come over the years. Daniel liked playing in the sand looking at ancient bits of rock with marks crudely hacked into them. Jack hated the sand - it got in _everywhere. _

Jack knew he was exaggerating some of Daniel's characteristics in his musings, but still. They were real enough to him that he couldn't imagine Daniel hanging out talking casual barbecue talk - the man seemed to think _anytime _was the perfect time for a conversation that, in Jack's ears at least, started off with "Hey, guess what you don't know about this civilization that's been dead forever…" and got progressively more boring from there.

But even though Jack had never seen the man handle more than a single beer, Daniel had volunteered to bring both Teal'c and the beer to today's 'festivities.' So, even though Jack had his doubts about how the day was going to unfold, for many reasons, at least the geek was bringing the beer. And hey, maybe he'd have a higher threshold for Carter and Daniel trading geek-speak with beer in his system. He hoped Daniel remembered that he'd told him at least half the beer had to be Guinness.

Checking his watch, he lit the charcoal grill on his back deck to give it plenty of time to get hot before his teammates arrived, thinking that for better or worse, today would certainly be an interesting experience. Either this would go over well and maybe even become a semi-regular thing his team could do to unwind together… or not.

Officially, when he'd extended the invitation, he'd pointed out with a deliberate casualness that since they'd successfully survived a month of Stargate travel together, they should celebrate and get to know each other a little better.

Unofficially, he acknowledged to himself, that last mission in particular had scared the crap out of him, and he was so relieved that he'd brought his whole team home and whole that he had simply felt like celebrating. And, surprisingly, he'd felt like celebrating with _them, _he had realized halfway through their post-mission debrief, as he looked around the conference table at his team. And, since he was only talking to himself here, he was allowed to acknowledge that a part of the reason this mission in particular had terrified him so much was because the teammate in danger _this _time had been his 2IC. And, yes, he could admit to himself that it was in large part because she was a woman. They'd landed themselves in the middle of an extremely old-school society that treated women like crap under the guise of 'protecting them,' and Jack blamed himself for not taking the potential threat to his 2IC seriously enough from the beginning. She'd protested in all her feminist glory early on and he'd given in against his better judgment, not wanting to offend her or have her think he was treating her differently because she was a woman… and of course she'd ended up kidnapped, and been hurt, and almost worse.

He didn't doubt her abilities in the field at all. But that didn't mean he didn't feel that one of his jobs as her CO was to protect her from physical assault, which was unfortunately still a very real threat to women in service all over the world, not just at the SGC. And he'd nearly failed at that right off the bat. He had no idea how Carter would handle something like that if it ever happened to her, but he knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to handle it. The guilt and the feelings of failure would eat him alive, he was certain. He would probably feel that way about any female officer under his command, and refused to consider the possibility that those feelings were heightened by the fact that he'd already noticed quite a few things about his 2IC that were definitely _not _in her personnel file, like how easy it was to make her laugh with his relatively corny jokes, how her eyes positively lit up when she started explaining what some new piece of alien technology did, or the way she kept surprising him with random, unexpected personality quirks he wouldn't have expected of her… like how if the commissary was out of blue jello, she'd rather skip dessert than have another color, or how he had once seen her eat three donuts without looking up from her computer, while drinking a Diet soda. When he couldn't help but point out the pointlessness of drinking diet soda to wash down _three _donuts, she'd turned positively pink and muttered something about liking the taste better.

Intriguing personality traits aside, she was altogether too adorable for her own good, he was certain. He was equally certain that she had absolutely no idea. Nobody that smart should be able to be that genuinely oblivious to her own potential to draw a lot of attention from the male population… but he'd watched the woman working away in a predominantly male environment for a month now and was convinced she truly had no idea that most of the base regularly drooled over her. He would swear some even swooned, although those were usually the scientists, not the enlisted personnel. Luckily, most of them seemed too intimidated by the combination of her uber-genius brain and killer soldier skills to actually approach her, but still. The looks were still there. Most of them seemed to know she was totally out of their league, which suited Jack just fine. As far as he was concerned, she was completely off-limits to anybody at the SGC. Including himself, although he refused to think about why he so adamantly included himself in that group, and how he felt about his self-imposed inclusion in said group. He wasn't worried about her having problems with people on Earth, but as this last mission showed, he couldn't count on the same thing when they were visiting other people on other planets.

Sure, she'd kicked the dude's butt this time… but what about next time? Jack shivered involuntarily at the thought, even though he was standing in front of a hot barbecue pit.

So, yeah, the party was about celebrating the fact that they'd all survived a month of going through the gate together… but he probably wouldn't have felt the overwhelming need to have such a celebration THIS weekend if it hadn't been for what had nearly happened to his 2IC last time.

His first surprise of the day came when he heard a loud engine approaching his house and went to the gate to see who was pulling into his driveway, and he realized that the person interrupting his wandering thoughts was said 2IC herself, Captain-Doctor Samantha Carter. He was so surprised to see her getting out of a classic, expertly maintained silver Volvo that he stopped dead in his tracks.

He knew his mouth was probably hanging open, because she looked far too amused as she got out of the car and spotted him hanging over the gate to his back yard.

"Hi, sir," she finally offered when he didn't greet her after a few seconds.

"Hi," he repeated, too puzzled by this new discovery to think of much else to say. "Is that a '62?" he blurted, unable to stop himself.

"Close. '61," she said, eyes sparkling with pride as she reached him. "Am I the first one here?"

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head slightly and shuffling back to open the gate for her. "Come on back."

"You like cars, I take it," he said as he shut the gate behind her. He thought it sounded pretty stupid and obvious and vaguely wondered where his normal level of coolness had disappeared to.

"Um, well, yeah, I do. Sir. Just a hobby, you know," she shrugged, cheeks going a little pink. "I mean, they're nowhere near as complicated as the stuff we get to play with in the Air Force, let alone at the SGC, but it's just something I've always enjoyed, I guess." When he didn't respond and just kept staring at her, she added, "Bikes too. I mean, you know, when I have time…"

"Motorcycles?"

"Yeah… well, my Indian is currently in about a hundred pieces in my garage, and I'm thinking of getting another one…"

"You have an Indian?" He knew he was probably staring at her like she'd grown an extra head, but he just couldn't help it. This was certainly a side of his 2IC he never even suspected existed.

"Yes, sir. It's a 1940... You're welcome to look at it when it's back in one piece, if you're interested."

This was getting ridiculous. He had to say _something, _and quit staring at her like an idiot. "So you're not _all _geek" is what came out of his mouth. He wished he could take it back the second he heard it, even before he saw the flash of hurt in her eyes before she could cover it up with a fake, too-bright smile.

"That came out wrong," he said quickly. "I just meant… I didn't expect…" he tried, but now he wasn't sure what he could possibly say that would explain what he had meant and wouldn't just sound somehow worse.

When he failed to come up with something better, she tried to change the subject by looking around the yard. "Nice yard, sir."

"Thanks," he grumbled, appreciating the transparent attempt to gloss over the awkwardness he'd created, even though he still felt bad about it. "Come on back. Do you want something to drink? Danny's bringing the beer but I've got tea for T, or water, juice, regular or diet soda…"

"I'll have a diet soda if it's not too much trouble, sir."

"No trouble at all," he said, waving his hands and pointing her towards the picnic table before hurrying inside to get the drink and, hopefully, collect himself a bit. Even patting himself on the back for thinking to get diet soda for her didn't help him get over how awkward he'd just made things between them. He hadn't meant to offend her, he'd just been so blind-sided he had been even less eloquent than usual… _yeah, way to go_, he told himself. _Drooling over her car and motorcycle, then hurting her feelings by calling her a geek_… about the only good thing about that conversation was the fact that he _had _managed to keep from blurting out how nice she was looking out of uniform in those jeans…

Berating himself mentally as he poured the soda over a cup of ice, he hoped Teal'c and Daniel showed up soon, and barely restrained himself from calling Daniel to find out where exactly they were and how long it would be before they arrived.

He brought the drink out to her along with a few different bags of chips and the other non-meat things he'd got for the barbecue, busying himself setting everything out on the table and avoiding looking at her while she drank her drink and looked around, curiously taking in everything there was to notice about his back yard, he was sure, and absently munching on the occasional potato chip.

"It was nice of you to invite us all over, sir," she finally said, seemingly unable to take the awkward silence any longer.

"No problem. And you know, you can ease up on the 'sir' when we're not on the base. In case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly one for strictly enforcing the Air Force's rules and regulations."

She laughed. "Yes, I have noticed that. Well, with the unimportant ones, at least, sir." He raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged, laughing at herself. "It's a habit. I don't know if I can help it. Too deeply ingrained."

"Ah," he said. "Does that mean you're a base brat, Carter?"

She nodded. "My dad's in the Air Force too."

She didn't seem to want to talk about that anymore, so he decided not to push it, but filed that away for the future.

"Well, you're full of surprises today, aren't you, Carter?" he asked lightly, hoping that he sounded like his usual self again. He was pretty sure he did, even though he still didn't entirely _feel _like his usual self. Having a casual conversation alone with her while they were both out of uniform and off-duty was keeping him much more off-balance than he would have ever guessed it might, he realized.

"Wonder where Teal'c and Daniel are," he offered, hoping to get a normal conversation going.

"Daniel said something about Hammond having him take Teal'c shopping for 'civilian-appropriate attire,'" she explained.

"Wow. Wonder which one of them is going to end up hating that more," Jack chuckled.

"I'm guessing Teal'c, sir."

"Yeah, me too. I guess he's going to have to wear a hat outside the base at all times… I hadn't really thought about it until now."

"It'll probably draw less attention if he does," she agreed, laughing as she reached for a chip.

Jack glanced over her shoulder and his eyes went wide. "Oh, I don't know about that, Captain," he said pointedly, nodding his head towards the gate, where Teal'c and Daniel were now coming into the yard.

Both were carrying cases of beer, Teal'c in the lead. The man's sheer size made him hard to miss in general, but this was the first time Jack had seen him dressed 'like a civilian.' he used the term very loosely, because Jack was certain there weren't a lot of civilians who went around Colorado in late fall in a swimsuit with a very loud pattern of flames licking up from the hem, tube socks, boat shoes, what had to be the largest white Polo shirt ever sewn, and a cowboy hat.

Strangely, Jack thought the Polo shirt looked the weirdest on him.

Beside him, his 2IC was clutching her sides in an effort, Jack was sure, to keep her laughter in at the sight of their largest teammate.

"Daniel?" Jack demanded pointedly, nodding his head fractionally at Teal'c to indicate the man's unusual appearance.

"He insisted," Daniel said meekly.

"Teal'c, is that a swimsuit?" Sam asked, her voice a bit higher than usual.

"It is indeed, Captain Carter," Teal'c said, tilting his head to her. "It was, I believe the term is, 'on sale.'"

"Aren't you cold?" she asked. "I mean, it's October…" she herself was in a sweater and jeans, and had a jacket in the car in case they stayed until it got darker and cooler out.

"My symbiote protects me from much more extreme temperatures than this, Captain Carter," he reminded her gently.

"Oh, right."

"Additionally, I find this garment more practical than most of the garments your people wear on their lower halves. This one, you see, has the undergarment built into it, so you do not need to wear two different articles of clothing."

Carter turned the deepest shade of red Jack had ever seen her do and couldn't seem to think of a response.

Jack laughed and clapped Teal'c on the back. "TMI, big guy. But hey, you want to go commando, have at it."

"I did not understand any of that, O'Neill."

"Never mind," Jack said, clapping him on the back. "Come on, big guy. I'll show you how to barbecue."

He led the creatively-dressed man inside, wanting help bringing the trays of meat out.

Once they were all together, Jack felt more normal again, despite Teal'c's strange appearance. They were all getting along surprisingly well without an ongoing mission to discuss, and Jack quickly realized he was genuinely enjoying himself, and everyone else seemed to be having a good time too. That boded well for the future of his team, and he was thrilled with it. If they all became genuine friends, in his opinion his team would work better professionally too. He knew the Air Force didn't exactly see things the same way but he'd always found it to be true.

Twenty minutes later, he and Teal'c had the burgers and hot dogs cooking on the smoking grill. Daniel and Carter were chatting away about something at the table nearby. Daniel had set the beer down on the table but hadn't passed them out yet. "Hey, Danny boy, did you bring those just to be admired or are you going to pass them out any time soon?" Jack called.

Daniel turned to him and looked confused for a few moments, before he got what Jack meant and pulled out a Guinness, bringing it over to him. Jack took the bottle and frowned. "Daniel, this is warm!"

"Does that matter?" Daniel asked, looking to Sam automatically, clearly confused.

"Does it matter?" Jack repeated incredulously. "Danny boy, you're supposed to bring _cold _beer to a barbecue, not beer the temperature of fresh pee!"

"Jack," Daniel complained, wincing at his choice of words.

"_Especially _Guinness, Daniel. This is the best beer on the planet. And my Irish grandfather would roll over in his grave if I allowed it to be served warm in my home. This beer must be ice cold, and that takes over half an hour in the freezer. So go put it in there and start the timer because nobody eats until we can have _cold_ beer with our meal!"

"But Jack," Daniel whined. "By then all the _food _will be cold too. I'd much rather have a warm beer and hot food than…"

"Ack! My house, my rules. All beer shall be served cold! This is the first commandment of the O'Neill household! Carter, you're with me on this, aren't you?" he demanded, figuring she was his best chance at support here. He highly doubted Teal'c would care what temperature the beer was, since the man had never had any before. Hell, Teal'c wasn't exactly picky. The guy actually _liked _the way the purification tablets made the water in their canteens taste off-world.

"Well," she said carefully, looking back and forth between Jack and Daniel. "It does taste much better the colder it is, sir, but Daniel has a point about the burgers too… they must be nearly done already, and… hang on, I have an idea!" she grinned at both of them and hurried inside without another word.

All three men exchanged confused looks. "What do you suppose she's doing in there?" Daniel asked after a moment.

"No telling. Maybe she's going to soup up my freezer or something. She had that geeky look in her eyes."

"Jack," Daniel admonished mildly.

"Hey, I meant it as a compliment," Jack insisted. "If it gets me cold beer," he added.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "You know, some people get their feelings hurt by that word."

"Yeah, but Carter's a lot tougher than you, Spacemonkey," Jack countered.

Daniel rolled his eyes again.

Sam came out carrying the giant container of salt from Jack's pantry, grinning at all of them. "Sir, do you have an ice chest or some other large container, preferably insulated?"

"Uh, yeah, in the garage," he said, puzzled. Before he could ask anything else, she was off to the garage.

The three men waited, exchanging confused looks and shrugs until she came back into the yard dragging his two large ice chests over to the spigot. They watched her fill up both ice chests with cold water and dump the entire thing of salt in as well.

When she made to drag the now heavy chests over to the patio, Teal'c hurried to help her. Still not explaining anything, she went back inside and came out with the ice from Jack's ice maker, which she dumped into both chests. She swirled the contents around for a few seconds, then seemed satisfied, and started dumping the beer into the chests.

"Uh, Sam, how is that better than the freezer?" Daniel asked.

"The average household freezer will take about forty to forty-five minutes to cool beer to forty-two degrees. This will have it down to thirty-eight, which is considered the optimal temperature for drinking beer, in approximately five minutes."

"_Five?_" Jack asked incredulously. "Carter, are you kidding me?"

"No sir. Five minutes. I guarantee it. See, the salt…" she started, then sensed he wasn't really interested in the _why_ so much as the _result_. "… it's the salt that makes the difference, sir."

He gaped at her, clearly impressed. "And you know this, _how, _exactly, Captain?"

"Well, it's basic physics, sir," she said with a shrug, but her cheeks turned pink, which showed him there was more to the story than she was letting on.

"Carter?" he prompted.

"Okay… well, if you all must know, I learned this for a fact when a few friends of mine and I conducted a series of experiments to figure out the fastest way to cool down beer after a few too many frustrating parties where we all sat around waiting for it to get cold." "

"And when was this, exactly?"

"Well, I was in college," she said, trying not to sound evasive. O'Neill knew why that was - the wiz kid that was his 2IC had entered college at a younger age than the general population, and as such could NOT have been legally allowed to drink beer for the vast majority of her college experience.

Deciding not to pursue that line of questioning, since the beer itself was so interesting at the moment, he asked, "So this was the best way? Salt water?"

"Salt water with ice, sir. Well, second best. There _is _a better way we found…" she was grinning slyly. "Want to see it, sir?"

"Absolutely," he said, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever been more serious about anything in his life.

She disappeared into the house again, and when she came hurrying back outside, this time she was carrying the fire extinguisher Jack kept under the kitchen sink.

"Found it! Wasn't sure if you'd have one or not…" she declared happily.

"Uh, Carter, I'm not the best cook in the world but I usually don't need a fire extinguisher when I barbecue. Okay, there was _one _time, but in my defense…"

"It's not for you, sir," she called, grabbing a six pack of Guinness and carrying it out into the yard, away from where they were all cooking.

All three men watched as she proceeded to pull the pin from the fire extinguisher and spray its entire contents on the six pack.

"That's…" Daniel started, trying to find the word he was looking for.

"Hot," Jack supplied without thinking.

"I believe her intention is to cool the liquid, O'Neill, not make it warmer," Teal'c corrected.

Jack didn't bother to respond.

When it was entirely emptied, she brought it over to them and handed the first chilled Guiness to Jack, who wiped off the top of the bottle and opened it while she said, "About two and a half minutes when I last timed it," she reported. "Of course, you'd have to have a lot of fire extinguishers for a really big party, so it's not quite as practical as the salt water, but if you don't mind spending about thirty bucks a six pack to cool it…" she started babbling as Daniel and Teal'c helped themselves to the beer she was still holding, both curious to see the results for themselves.

Jack had finally got his bottle open - it was hard because the outside of the bottle was now positively freezing - and took a long, satisfying pull from the bottle.

"Well, Colonel?" she finally asked when he swallowed and was able to speak, eyes sparkling, smiling hopefully. He could tell she was pleased that she was able to amuse him with something that was based, however superficially, in science.

"I love you," he blurted out.

Her eyes went very, very wide, though not perhaps as wide as Daniel's. Teal'c looked completely unaffected, and Jack really didn't have a clue what that could possibly mean.

This was much, much worse than accidentally insulting her earlier.

And waaaaay more awkward.

He hadn't meant to say that… hell, he hadn't even meant to _think that. It had just… come out. _

He wasn't sure if this was more or less awkward because Teal'c and Daniel were there, but it occurred to him as he glanced at both of them quickly that he wasn't sure how much time had passed since his outburst… it felt like forever, but really, it could have just been a moment.

"See how easy it is to get on my good side, Daniel?" Jack finally said, trying to sound casual, like he routinely told coworkers he loved them. "Maybe you'll learn from Carter here and bring COLD beer next time."

"I don't think I ever want to bring the beer again," Daniel mumbled, not quite willing to let Jack totally skate over this smoothly by making fun of him.


	3. Now Again

Chapter 3: Now Again

"… And I never brought the beer again," Daniel said in satisfaction.

"I'm sorry, Daniel, but that's not the interesting part of the story," Vala said, grinning ear to ear. "I can't believe you said that, General!"

"I had kind of forgotten that part," Jack admitted. "Thanks so much for reminding me," he said sarcastically, smacking Daniel in the arm.

"Hey," Sam objected.

"I didn't mean I don't!" he said quickly. "I just meant, I didn't…. okay, maybe I did, who knows, but I definitely didn't mean to _say _it…" he was between a rock and a hard place. The rock being Daniel, he supposed.

"That's fairly obvious, since it took the two of you almost a decade after that to get together," Cassie snorted.

"So, Jack," Daniel continued ribbing his friend. "Would you say you were more embarrassed blurting out 'I love you' to Sam at that barbecue, or telling her you adored her when you first met her, in front of Hammond and everyone?"

Vala grinned. Cameron choked on his beer. Even Cassie looked surprised.

"He was being sarcastic, Daniel," Sam defended. "God, I was impossible that day." she had her own embarrassment about how she'd acted that day and didn't want Daniel bringing it up if at all possible.

"Actually, I wasn't," Jack said with a shrug.

Sam looked at him in surprise but decided now wasn't the time to go into more detail about that… not in front of everyone, at any rate. "Anyway, Daniel, you were on Abydos, how do you even know about that?" Sam demanded.

"Kawalsky told me when you guys came to Chulak," Daniel said smugly.

"Traitor," Jack muttered, finishing his beer before declaring, "Okay, well, story time is over."

"Now can we play the game you were talking about, Daniel? With the wiskets and the ballots?" Vala asked.

"Wickets and mallets," Cassie corrected, as she turned to Jack. "We were talking about playing croquet. I'll go dig up the old set," she offered.

"I'll help," Cameron offered, going after her.

"Croquet?" Jack asked. "Is that wise?" he was picturing Teal'c sending one of those heavy balls flying straight through the windshield of his car, and Vala taking a croquet mallet to Daniel's head when he insisted she play by the rules…

"It'll be fun," Daniel said.

"If you say so," Jack shrugged. "It's getting dark though so I don't know how you're going to see. You better hurry. I'll go help Cassie, she'll never find that thing alone."

"I'll go too, I think it might be behind some of my stuff that's sitting in the garage," Sam remembered.

The two of them headed out to the garage, Sam rubbing her arms for warmth absently as they hit the cooler night air outside.

"I had forgotten about that thing at the first barbecue too until Daniel brought it up," she commented, grinning. "But as soon as he said it I knew exactly what he was talking about."

"I didn't mean it like _that," _Jack said. "If I had I wouldn't have said it, as the next several years proved… oh hell, I guess I did mean it, but I didn't really know I meant it. Or how much more I would mean it. You know?" he figured he wasn't saying this quite right, and hoped she was filling in the blanks on her end, like she usually did.

"I know," she said, stopping outside the door to the garage and turning to face him. "I guess… it's easy to forget… it really has been so long. But even back then, I…" she trailed off, suddenly looking thoughtfully into the distance.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Ask me again."

"What?" he repeated.

"Not that. I mean, ask me again. Tonight, after everyone leaves."

It took him a minute to realize what she was talking about. Then he grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah."

He pulled her to him and kissed her soundly. "Would it be rude to kick them all out right now?"

"Yes," she laughed.

"Damn. Okay, let's get this stupid croquet thing over with and send them all off," he declared, yanking open the garage door.

He and Sam hurried inside and stopped dead in their tracks upon the sight that greeted them.

Cassandra Fraiser and Cameron Mitchell were making out on the hood of Sam's old Volvo.

And Jack O'Neill was certain he was having a stroke.

The wind blew the door behind Jack and Sam shut, making Cassie and Cameron jump apart and turn toward them guiltily.

"Um, surprise?" Cassie offered when nobody had spoken for what seemed like forever.

Jack's mind was racing, although he supposed he still looked like he was struck by a sudden coma from the outside.

"You… Cassandra Fraiser! This is your… how the hell…" Sam started. Apparently her brain, for once, wasn't working much faster than Jack's.

"Mitchell," Jack finally ground out. The younger man looked at him nervously, wiping his hands on his pants over and over for some reason. "Run," Jack advised, making a dive at him.

Cassie jumped between them and Sam had the presence of mind to grab his arm before he could actually hit him.

"I'm sorry, General, I didn't want you to find out this way. I didn't even want to tell you guys yet but Cassie insisted…"

"SO not helping!" Cassie cut in.

"Get inside, now," Sam said sharply to them. "Both of you."

They shuffled past gratefully.

"Tell me you didn't know about this," Jack said once they were alone.

"Of course not. I'm just as surprised as you are."

"He's got to be at least ten years older than her."

"Careful there, I wouldn't go playing that card," she pointed out.

"Why?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Well that's different," he insisted grumpily.

"This is… not at all what I expected," Sam was saying thoughtfully. "Although… it kind of makes sense in a weird way… maybe."

"No it doesn't," Jack insisted.

"Well, okay, maybe it doesn't. but we need to calm down and at least go hear them out."

"Do we have to? Can we not just go to Area 51, get in the time machine, and erase the last five minutes of our lives?"

She laughed. "I'm afraid not."

"Damn. Okay, fine, we'll do it your way."

They headed for the door again. "Well, you do have to hand it to them," Sam remarked.

"About what?"

"I think they just gave us the mother of all barbecue surprises."

"I'm getting too old for this," Jack groaned dramatically.

"You say that after every barbecue," Sam reminded.

"Well, I mean it this time," he insisted. "I swear to God, if we go in there and Vala declares she's pregnant with Daniel's half-alien baby, or Teal'c says he's running off to join the circus, I'm chucking it all in and retiring for good to a nice uninhabited planet somewhere."

"Am I invited?"

"Of course," he said, wrapping an arm around her. Then, knowing full well it was going to earn him an elbow to the ribs, he added, "I have to have someone to chill the beer, after all."

The end.

Author's Note: I know the Cassie/Cameron thing may seem weird to some people. I just wanted to get another "surprise" in there and this was an idea I had toyed with in another unfinished story I have. I went into it more in that one but here it just seemed like a funny way to end this one. Thank you all very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
